Making My Heart Ache

I have a few more posts to before I finish The Parenting Series, but bare with me as a empty my brain on a completely different subject…

Tonight, I was driving to go babysit at a home I’d never been to before. In fact, I’d never even heard of the city, but I have cared for this particular baby a previous time. As I exited the highway, I started passing dairy farms. One after the other, all in a line. 

For those of you that don’t know, I was in FFA in high school and 4-H before that. I raised meat production animals for eight years, from 6th grade to the year after high school. I can operate on a farm, I know what to ask for at the feed store and how to treat bloat. I have nerve damage in both feet from being stepped on by 1,200 lb. steers. I’ve had my fingers and hands smashed in gates countless times. I love it. All of it. It’s been such a huge part of my life, and I originally went to collage to get a degree in Animal Science. 

Any who, as I passed these dairies, I turned up my country music louder than normal. Dairy after dairy, my heart began to beat more rapidly & warm as if it were smiling. Then I began thinking how horribly I wanted that. Not necessarily to live on a dairy or working farm, but on a piece of large piece of land; with gates and agriculture projects & enough space for my children and pets to play. 

There are only three things in the entire world that I want so bad they make my heart ache. To be Joshua’s wife. To have children & be able to be a stay at home mom. To live in house like I described above. I don’t belong here, not in Orange County, anyway. There’s a known horse/agriculture town in the next county over. I’d love to live there one day (:

Happy Weekend!



  1. March 20, 2012 / 6:11 am

    Such an awesome blog! You’re a beauty by the way!! xo

  2. May 28, 2012 / 4:59 am

    I can so relate. My husband hates the commute into orange county, but i love being in a slightly more rural area.