I decided to note my feelings and what I was processing at the time, starting a few weeks after I found out my position would be eliminated and ending on Jan 18th. This post is written journal style, which isn’t the norm for me. I hope you can still keep up. :)
Dec 5, 2013:
I’m starting this post about two weeks out from my last day with L because I’m already feeling all the emotions. I did really well handling everything when I first found out on November 18th. Kept calm while they told me and wasn’t as upset as I expected to be. Then my Mom Boss emailed me the same night, letting me know how much they appreciated having me as part of their family for the last year, etc. I lost it and cried for a while that night. I’ve cried twice more since then, last night and today.
I was having a looming sad day yesterday, then had a rough afternoon that kind of pushed me over the emotional edge. I had class that I couldn’t miss, and I didn’t want to be there. I hate crying in public, but I couldn’t keep it together anymore. Then I had to pull myself together because the phone interview I was waiting on called, but more on that later.
Tonight my best friend called to set up one last playdate before my time with L is over. Then she said that they were going to miss him. Boom. Lost it. Me too, dude. Normal people have no clue how hard this part of my job is. It sucks so bad and it never gets easier.
My last day is Dec 20th, and I’m already dreading my last week. I’m anticipating being a wreck the entire week, having to do our lasts together: swim lessons, gymnastics, etc. Kind of hoping I’ll be all cried out by my last day, so I can keep it together enough to say goodbye and get out the door.
I got a new job! I interviewed with them on December 7th and didn’t even make it hope before they hired me. Talk about a good match. We reviewed my employment contract today and will sign later this week, I’m so excited! I was originally supposed to start on January 2nd, but some things happened and I start tomorrow and will be doing a nanny share for this first week.
I’ve been feeling really good emotionally and am ready to start my new job. I think I’ve mourned the fact that one job is over & L and his family are leaving soon. Now I’m trying to put as much as my focus as possible in prepping for E while still applying myself at work, which is a lot easier to do now that school is over.
My last day with L was on the 20th and I’m still feeling really good emotionally. My last day went well, although the last hour was trying due to two non-verbal, grumpy babies. I also think it helped me a lot to not have any sort of break, and to be able to dive into my new job right away. I’ve been adjusting to my new job and responsibilities really well so far, even though I’ve only had two days on my own with E, the dog, and the house. I have two work days next week then start full time the week after that.
I start my third full week with E on Tuesday. I’m still adjusting to my new found responsibilities, but I think it’s going really well so far. I think I just need to make better use of my time. I’ll get there :)